Last week I was alerted to the existence of this one site called PUAHate.com. It is basically a forum where guys and girls discuss their hatred of dating coaches and specifically the PUA community dating coaches. Although I don’t condone hate and anger against the PUA community, some of what they discuss makes sense in their critique of the PUA community, and I will leave it up to you to look up different viewpoints and decide for yourself what makes sense to you and what doesn’t. One thing I did learn by talking to these guys though is that one of the big reasons guys may not achieve success with women (or anything else) is the “excuser” mindset.
First, let’s look at the two points many of these excusers posed to me in why learning how to be successful with women is futile:
1. You need to be good looking.
2. Game cannot be taught or learned.
Here are my responses to those counterpoints:
1. Good Looks
I am a good looking guy. Most of the people I have met from the PUA community are good looking guys. All of my clients are good looking guys (for those of you who are clients of mine reading this, you know this to be true).
(I define good looks as having a good build: athletic, slim, muscular, or slightly thick [not really skinny or obese]; a decent haircut to complement one's face; an average [at least] clothing style; and a slightly above average looking face.)
That being said, every one of those people (including me) at one time or another had something in common other than good looks: They had trouble getting women.
I have rectified that in myself through 5 years of learning (and unlearning) stuff from the PUA community, stuff from the counter-PUA community (David X, Alan Roger Currie, Sleazy, 60, etc.), and mostly from my own experience (the primary teacher for everyone). So I went from a good looking guy that couldn't get a date to save his life, to a good looking guy that regularly gets 2-3 dates a week.
To counter that I have a friend who is Indian, medium height, and has a little bit of a belly. He dresses nice though, and has a great haircut. He is an average looking non-white male though. He was my mentor throughout the period where I learned how to get women. Despite not being particularly good-looking he has amazing success in getting very beautiful women. I will say this though, he is amazingly charming and charismatic, and his game is a 10. He is one smooth man.
2. Guys cannot teach/learn game
I already said this, but the primary teacher needs to be one's own experience. Coaching is a supplement used to assist one on their journey to success. There is no quick fix or magic pill. The reason guys get into the PUA community is because they want to believe there is. Some (like me) continue to work hard and find success. Others stick their tail between their legs and walk away after figuring out that the magic pill is complete bullshit.
You can learn how to be good with women. The key is to work hard and to learn from your experiences. A good coach can help you with this process significantly. As long as they have the experience to identify your weaknesses, and are realistic with you on what you need to do to be successful, then they can be invaluable.
The stuff I learned from David X and Alan Roger Currie were invaluable for me to learn how to get rid of excuses, fear, and the bullshit that most of the PUA community teaches.
My system is very simple. I taught my system to multiple friends and acquaintances (for free at first) and observed that they had much better results in meeting and dating women online than before they used my system. That made it very clear to me that my system was effective enough to teach to others in a professional sense.
Now, I thoroughly believe that any guy can have trouble meeting women despite how he may look and that it can be fixed if he is mentored into the correct mindset. This has been proven true through my experience and the experience of many others.
Now that I have answered the two excuses I hear the most, I want to get into what I think defines an excuser:
They might sit around their ass reading a bunch of PUA stuff. They might sit around on their ass and critique and hate on guys that claim to have success with women. They might sit around on their ass beating off and watching porn instead of going out and meeting women like they would like to do.
The whole point is that the only thing they do is sit around on their ass, bitch, and complain, all while the whole world is moving on without them. These kinds of people won't ever see success. Dating coaches cannot help them. Neither can therapists or medical professionals.
Why?
Because they refuse to understand that to get anything that truly has anything of value to them that they have to really work hard. They feel entitled to success, and don't realize they have to earn it.
At the end of the day, they want to rationalize to themselves why they cannot get what they desire. So they lie to themselves. They are weak, pathetic, useless liars.
Their rationalizations come off as "You need to be rich or really good looking to get women." When reality clearly shows that there are tons of poor men and ugly guys that get women. These successful men don't even use any top-secret PUA tactics either.
They even put people down and hate on people that do give them good advice and try to help them.
They make excuses, and will never achieve any kind of success while doing so.
I am not of this second type, and I will not take someone as a student of mine if I feel they are of this second type. I cannot help them, and I will not help them. I will refund their money upfront and turn them away if I feel that they are of this type.
They are helpless, unless they make the decision to help themselves.
This may sound harsh, but I feel like it is critical to let people know that there isn’t help for everybody. There can only be help for those who want to work hard at achieving that which they really desire.
I hope you guys can see the darkness and self-destruction that comes with being excuser. As long as you stay excuse free, I know that together we will go far.
Go ahead to my website if you haven’t already to sign up for one of my affordable coaching options.
As always, keep womanizing!
Your friend,
The Web Womanizer
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