I have been talking to a lot of guys and girls lately about dating and I realized that many of them are unhappy with their dating lives. For one, I don’t think they see dating as being fun at all, and I realized that they are completely focused on what they are going to get out of dating. They are results-focused instead of process-focused, which could really make dating very un-fun. The reason is because dating is a lot like Forest Gump’s box of chocolates: You never know what you are going to get.
I find that the remedy to this is to just focus on the process (in this case the online dating system I developed, how I call/text girls, and how I conduct myself on a date) and to have fun. The other remedy I have for what I call the Dating-Hating syndrome is to have no expectations. Now the reasoning that my dating philosophy revolves around this mentality is very simple: You can only control your own actions and you cannot ever control the actions of another (even if you are an exceptionally skilled manipulator the other person always has some amount of choice).
Also I find (and dig down deep within yourself and you will find this to be true too) that the negative anxiety people feel towards dating doesn’t come from their own actions but their feelings toward their results and what other people think of them. I choose to remove this anxiety because I do not see any benefits and only tons of reasons why it is not helpful. Think about it. Being overly-anxious and negative only serves to put people off, which results in less dating-success. It also causes you to undermine your own self-confidence which leads to freezing up and not sticking to the process that serves to get you dating success. It causes you to reject people you might actually like and to reject yourself from going for what you want. I see guys that only go for nines and dimes, then fail to get them because they put these girls on a platinum pedestal, and then go home empty handed (well actually they put a piece of their broken manhood into their hand). At the end of the day it causes only loneliness and discontent.
On the other hand, I see guys (including myself) that have no expectations about their dating life (note: this does NOT mean that you have no standards or rules). Basically, every time a successful guy talks to women he doesn’t expect her to act in any way or that a certain outcome will or will not happen. He just follows his process that he knows leads him to success and lets everything fall as it may while enjoying himself. When I email a girl online, will she reciprocate? I don’t know. If I ask a girl for her number, will she give it to me? I don’t know. If I ask a girl on a date, will she end up going? I don’t know. If I like her and I’m having fun on the date, will it end up sexual at the end of the night? I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t care either. I know that I am not going to bat a thousand. I also know if I focus on trying to, then I will only cause a lot of anxiety within myself that tends to make the desired outcome even harder to reach. So I just let it all go, and have fun doing what I do to meet and date women.
This should make you guys (and gals) feel less crazy and stressed when dating and it will also lead to more success. If you REALLY want to figure out the secrets to ATTRACTING and MEETING the women you want, then do yourself a favor and signup for my FREE newsletter. Along with the newsletter you will get a FREE 10 page handbook and 15 minute video outlining my tips and tricks for online dating success. Go to www.webwomanizer.com NOW, and STAY TUNED for more products and services in the near future that will take your online game to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. As always, keep womanizing.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Do Looks Matter?
When it comes to dating, even online dating, does how a guy looks matter for success in meeting women? Short answer: Yes. Now, for the long answer…
Men are fairly simple when it comes to dating. We are very visual creatures. If we like what we see, we can (and many times do) allow A LOT of things to slide when dealing with those hot vixens. A lot of dating gurus focus on teaching guys how to look really good to impress the ladies. They will tell you to get into great shape—become lean with a bit of muscle, dress to impress, get a nice haircut, and develop and sexy sense of style. Does all of this work? YES, only a little bit…
When I was 18-20 I found it very difficult to get women to go out on a date with me. Some of my biggest problems were that I dressed like a slob, had long unkempt hair, didn’t shave or have a facial hair style, had no sense of style, and had terrible body language. Now, I wanted to improve myself so I listened to a lot of popular dating advice. I started dressing better, shaving, keeping my hair clean and styled, and put some pep in my step with a smile on my face. Did the ladies notice? Yes! Did I get a lot of dates? No! That’s when I started working on being social and developing my “game” and ability to interact and communicate with women. Did that get me dates? You betcha!
Now I have read a lot of stuff from evolutionary psychologists and popular seduction community dating coaches that say there are a bunch of different reasons that it takes a lot more than good looks to win the hearts (and other body parts) of women. I have noticed that a lot of guys that I coach or that I meet are above average looking (including myself) but have still had problems meeting and dating women. I’m not going to theorize and say why it takes more than looks to get beautiful women because I don’t know. All I do know is that good looks do help, but only a little.
Now you are probably thinking that I am contradicting myself because I just said that looks matter but they don’t get women. Okay, let me explain… To become successful with women you need a multitude of things working together in order to successfully attract and seduce them. Some parts are more important than others but if a part is important at all, then it is still very important. Confused yet?
Let’s put this into the context of online dating. To successfully attract girls you need 3 things working together: a well written profile, a well written initial email, and finally good pictures. Why? I don’t know why, and frankly it doesn’t matter. All that matters is knowing what you need to get what you want. I have done this enough to know that what pictures you have can make or break you chances of success, so looks matter, but just like in real life, they won’t work on their own.
So looks do matter. On their own they don’t matter enough to guarantee you success with women, but if they aren’t addressed then you won’t get the women you want. The more important question is this: How do I work with what I got to maximize my potential dating success? Aha! That one I can help you with.
First, find people that you KNOW have a good fashion sense. Not your mom, or your friends that stay at home and play video games, but people that you know that have other people try to dress like them: These can be celebrities, stylish guy friends, gay guy friends (the ones who understand style inside and out), guys that have hot girlfriends, or even professional stylists. Stay away from asking women because they might try to dress you in a way that looks socially proper instead of attractive. There is a difference: Trust me! Also, figure out what shape your head is and type of hair you have and try to pick a style that fits it. Again emulate people whose hairstyles that you like and know will complement your face and clothing style. Again, ask experts if you need to. On top of this, workout and diet regularly, get a decent base tan, and get tattoos and body piercings if that’s your thing (women like that too).
Now that you are looking good take it to the next step to get good online dating success: Either pay for (or go to ModelMayhem.com to get for free) a professional/semi-professional photographer or photography student to take your pictures. Have you ever seen someone on the cover of a magazine look bad EVEN if they are overweight or not good-looking in real life? Yeah, it’s pretty rare. A good photograph could make a 5 look like an 8 or an 8 like a 10. The combination of the perfect angle, perfect lighting, good clothing and hair, and all those neat little photoshop tools help to give you that sharp-looking edge. Trust me when I say this, it can increase the quality of the girls you meet along with the quantity.
I hope this helps. But it will only help girls notice you better or turn a maybe girl into a yes girl. If you REALLY want to figure out the secrets to ATTRACTING and MEETING the women you want, then do yourself a favor and signup for my FREE newsletter. Along with the newsletter you will get a FREE 10 page handbook and 15 minute video outlining my tips and tricks for online dating success. Go to www.webwomanizer.com NOW, and STAY TUNED for more products and services in the near future that will take your online game to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. As always, keep womanizing.
Men are fairly simple when it comes to dating. We are very visual creatures. If we like what we see, we can (and many times do) allow A LOT of things to slide when dealing with those hot vixens. A lot of dating gurus focus on teaching guys how to look really good to impress the ladies. They will tell you to get into great shape—become lean with a bit of muscle, dress to impress, get a nice haircut, and develop and sexy sense of style. Does all of this work? YES, only a little bit…
When I was 18-20 I found it very difficult to get women to go out on a date with me. Some of my biggest problems were that I dressed like a slob, had long unkempt hair, didn’t shave or have a facial hair style, had no sense of style, and had terrible body language. Now, I wanted to improve myself so I listened to a lot of popular dating advice. I started dressing better, shaving, keeping my hair clean and styled, and put some pep in my step with a smile on my face. Did the ladies notice? Yes! Did I get a lot of dates? No! That’s when I started working on being social and developing my “game” and ability to interact and communicate with women. Did that get me dates? You betcha!
Now I have read a lot of stuff from evolutionary psychologists and popular seduction community dating coaches that say there are a bunch of different reasons that it takes a lot more than good looks to win the hearts (and other body parts) of women. I have noticed that a lot of guys that I coach or that I meet are above average looking (including myself) but have still had problems meeting and dating women. I’m not going to theorize and say why it takes more than looks to get beautiful women because I don’t know. All I do know is that good looks do help, but only a little.
Now you are probably thinking that I am contradicting myself because I just said that looks matter but they don’t get women. Okay, let me explain… To become successful with women you need a multitude of things working together in order to successfully attract and seduce them. Some parts are more important than others but if a part is important at all, then it is still very important. Confused yet?
Let’s put this into the context of online dating. To successfully attract girls you need 3 things working together: a well written profile, a well written initial email, and finally good pictures. Why? I don’t know why, and frankly it doesn’t matter. All that matters is knowing what you need to get what you want. I have done this enough to know that what pictures you have can make or break you chances of success, so looks matter, but just like in real life, they won’t work on their own.
So looks do matter. On their own they don’t matter enough to guarantee you success with women, but if they aren’t addressed then you won’t get the women you want. The more important question is this: How do I work with what I got to maximize my potential dating success? Aha! That one I can help you with.
First, find people that you KNOW have a good fashion sense. Not your mom, or your friends that stay at home and play video games, but people that you know that have other people try to dress like them: These can be celebrities, stylish guy friends, gay guy friends (the ones who understand style inside and out), guys that have hot girlfriends, or even professional stylists. Stay away from asking women because they might try to dress you in a way that looks socially proper instead of attractive. There is a difference: Trust me! Also, figure out what shape your head is and type of hair you have and try to pick a style that fits it. Again emulate people whose hairstyles that you like and know will complement your face and clothing style. Again, ask experts if you need to. On top of this, workout and diet regularly, get a decent base tan, and get tattoos and body piercings if that’s your thing (women like that too).
Now that you are looking good take it to the next step to get good online dating success: Either pay for (or go to ModelMayhem.com to get for free) a professional/semi-professional photographer or photography student to take your pictures. Have you ever seen someone on the cover of a magazine look bad EVEN if they are overweight or not good-looking in real life? Yeah, it’s pretty rare. A good photograph could make a 5 look like an 8 or an 8 like a 10. The combination of the perfect angle, perfect lighting, good clothing and hair, and all those neat little photoshop tools help to give you that sharp-looking edge. Trust me when I say this, it can increase the quality of the girls you meet along with the quantity.
I hope this helps. But it will only help girls notice you better or turn a maybe girl into a yes girl. If you REALLY want to figure out the secrets to ATTRACTING and MEETING the women you want, then do yourself a favor and signup for my FREE newsletter. Along with the newsletter you will get a FREE 10 page handbook and 15 minute video outlining my tips and tricks for online dating success. Go to www.webwomanizer.com NOW, and STAY TUNED for more products and services in the near future that will take your online game to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. As always, keep womanizing.
Monday, August 2, 2010
*****Limited Time special Offer!!!!*****
Right now I am offering a special in promotion of my dating coaching business where I am writing profiles for guys for ONLY $25 for the first 50 people to signup to my newsletter on the website. Go to http://webwomanizer.com/?page_id=145 to signup NOW!
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